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Books
The 7 habits of highly effective people - Stephen R. Covey
HABIT 1: BE PROACTIVE HABIT 2: BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND HABIT 3: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST HABIT 4: THINK WIN-WIN HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD HABIT 6: SYNERGIZE HABIT 7: SHARPEN THE SAW
HABIT 1 : BE PROACTIVE Your life doesn't just "happen." Whether you know it or not, it is carefully designed by you. The choices, after all, are yours. You choose happiness. You choose sadness. You choose decisiveness. You choose ambivalence. You choose success. You choose failure. You choose courage. You choose fear. Just remember that every moment, every situation, provides a new choice. And in doing so, it gives you a perfect opportunity to do things differently to produce more positive results.
Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can't keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are "response-able." They don't blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. Reactive people, on the other hand, are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their behavior. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn't, it affects their attitude and performance, and they blame the weather. All of these external forces act as stimuli that we respond to. Between the stimulus and the response is your greatest power--you have the freedom to choose your response. One of the most important things you choose is what you say. Your language is a good indicator of how you see yourself. A proactive person uses proactive language--I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A reactive person uses reactive language--I can't, I have to, if only. Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say and do--they have no choice.
Instead of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which they have little or no control, proactive people focus their time and energy on things they can control. The problems, challenges, and opportunities we face fall into two areas--Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence.
Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about: health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern--things over which they have little or no control: the national debt, terrorism, the weather. Gaining an awareness of the areas in which we expend our energies in is a giant step in becoming proactive.
HABIT 2: BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND So, what do you want to be when you grow up? That question may appear a little trite, but think about it for a moment. Are you--right now--who you want to be, what you dreamed you'd be, doing what you always wanted to do? Be honest. Sometimes people find themselves achieving victories that are empty--successes that have come at the expense of things that were far more valuable to them. If your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster.
Habit 2 is based on imagination--the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint. If you don't make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. It's about connecting again with your own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself. Begin with the End in Mind means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.
One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission statement makes you the leader of your own life. You create your own destiny and secure the future you envision.
HABIT 3: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST To live a more balanced existence, you have to recognize that not doing everything that comes along is okay. There's no need to overextend yourself. All it takes is realizing that it's all right to say no when necessary and then focus on your highest priorities.
Habit 1 says, "You're in charge. You're the creator." Being proactive is about choice. Habit 2 is the first, or mental, creation. Beginning with the End in Mind is about vision. Habit 3 is the second creation, the physical creation. This habit is where Habits 1 and 2 come together. It happens day in and day out, moment-by-moment. It deals with many of the questions addressed in the field of time management. But that's not all it's about. Habit 3 is about life management as well--your purpose, values, roles, and priorities. What are "first things?" First things are those things you, personally, find of most worth. If you put first things first, you are organizing and managing time and events according to the personal priorities you established in Habit 2.
HABIT 4: THINK WIN-WIN Think Win-Win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.
Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing--that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; it's not fair, and I'm going to make sure you don't get anymore. We all play the game, but how much fun is it really?
Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!
A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits: Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone Many people think in terms of either/or: either you're nice or you're tough. Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that--to achieve that balance between courage and consideration--is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.
HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD Communication is the most important skill in life. You spend years learning how to read and write, and years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training have you had that enables you to listen so you really, deeply understand another human being? Probably none, right?
If you're like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you're listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. So why does this happen? Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are going to ask, etc. You filter everything you hear through your life experiences, your frame of reference. You check what you hear against your autobiography and see how it measures up. And consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating. Do any of the following sound familiar?
"Oh, I know just how you feel. I felt the same way." "I had that same thing happen to me." "Let me tell you what I did in a similar situation."
Because you so often listen autobiographically, you tend to respond in one of four ways: Evaluating: You judge and then either agree or disagree. Probing: You ask questions from your own frame of reference. Advising: You give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems. Interpreting: You analyze others' motives and behaviors based on your own experiences.
You might be saying, "Hey, now wait a minute. I'm just trying to relate to the person by drawing on my own experiences. Is that so bad?" In some situations, autobiographical responses may be appropriate, such as when another person specifically asks for help from your point of view or when there is already a very high level of trust in the relationship.
HABIT 6: SYNERGIZE To put it simply, synergy means "two heads are better than one." Synergize is the habit of creative cooperation. It is teamwork, open-mindedness, and the adventure of finding new solutions to old problems. But it doesn't just happen on its own. It's a process, and through that process, people bring all their personal experience and expertise to the table. Together, they can produce far better results that they could individually. Synergy lets us discover jointly things we are much less likely to discover by ourselves. It is the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. One plus one equals three, or six, or sixty--you name it.
When people begin to interact together genuinely, and they're open to each other's influence, they begin to gain new insight. The capability of inventing new approaches is increased exponentially because of differences.
Valuing differences is what really drives synergy. Do you truly value the mental, emotional, and psychological differences among people? Or do you wish everyone would just agree with you so you could all get along? Many people mistake uniformity for unity; sameness for oneness. One word--boring! Differences should be seen as strengths, not weaknesses. They add zest to life.
HABIT 7: SHARPEN THE SAW Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have--you. It means having a balanced program for self-renewal in the four areas of your life: physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual. Here are some examples of activities: Physical: Beneficial eating, exercising, and resting Social/Emotional: Making social and meaningful connections with others Mental: Learning, reading, writing, and teaching Spiritual: Spending time in nature, expanding spiritual self through meditation, music, art, prayer, or service
As you renew yourself in each of the four areas, you create growth and change in your life. Sharpen the Saw keeps you fresh so you can continue to practice the other six habits. You increase your capacity to produce and handle the challenges around you. Without this renewal, the body becomes weak, the mind mechanical, the emotions raw, the spirit insensitive, and the person selfish. Not a pretty picture, is it?
Feeling good doesn't just happen. Living a life in balance means taking the necessary time to renew yourself. It's all up to you. You can renew yourself through relaxation. Or you can totally burn yourself out by overdoing everything. You can pamper yourself mentally and spiritually. Or you can go through life oblivious to your well-being. You can experience vibrant energy. Or you can procrastinate and miss out on the benefits of good health and exercise. You can revitalize yourself and face a new day in peace and harmony. Or you can wake up in the morning full of apathy because your get-up-and-go has got-up-and-gone. Just remember that every day provides a new opportunity for renewal--a new opportunity to recharge yourself instead of hitting the wall. All it takes is the desire, knowledge, and skill.
From: https://www.stephencovey.com/7habits/7habits.php
“13 Fatal Errors Managers Make and How You Can Avoid Them” -W. Steven Brown
1. We Fail To Accept Personal Accountability – The foundation of success of any business is Leadership/Management. We set the examples our people follow. There are actually only two types of people, the Internalist and the Externalist and only the first type even stands a chance of being effective.
The Internalist – Is a person who credits his station in life on self. He accepts Personal Accountability.
The Externalist – Is a person who credits his station in life on external things or people. He blames others and makes excuses for his lack of performance.
(SOLUTION) We must own our actions/results if we expect our people to do it.
2. We Fail To Develop People – This error leads to management time pressure. On the job we all face four types of time pressures. (a) Boss imposed, (b) Job imposed, (c) Creative Time and (d) Subordinate imposed. Management is essentially a thinking job not a doing job. We should be spending a good deal of our time in the Creative (Thinking) mode but that just is not reality. Certainly we will lose creative time to Boss and Job imposed time, however, the vast majority of us lose the majority of our creative time unnecessarily to Subordinate imposed time.
(SOLUTION) Our people are constantly asking us questions, and what do most of us do? Provide them with answers! We should instead be questioning them and leading them to the right answer and in so doing, developing them to think as we do. Why do we provide answers? Our ego? We think that it is our job. Actually, you don’t rate a manager based on how badly their people need them but on what their people can do without the manager. Management’s major purpose is to create a team that can function without them. Only then can we do what we should be doing and that is working on our bosses problems.
3. Trying to Control Results rather than Influencing Thinking – The progression for results, good or bad are: Thinking = Feelings = Activity = Habits = Results. In other words the foundation of success is how we think. That said, when a person is not producing results the manager thinks are good, they normally talk to that person about the activities they are engaging in and that does nothing to change the results. When we are faced with a job to do, we evaluate our self in relation to the job. If we think the job is bigger than we are, we will not try! Managers who only talk to people about activities does not help.
(SOLUTION) The manager should be talking to the person about how they think and perceive themselves in relation to the desired result. If the manager perceives that the person sees no chance of attaining it then the manager should work to build their confidence by helping them develop a plan by which the objective can be reached. Increase their confidence in their ability that they can do it and they can succeed. In other words, influence their thinking so that they believe they have the personal strength to succeed. You control results by influencing thinking.
4. We Join the Wrong Crowd – As we have traveled consulting with companies we listen very carefully to the pronouns that a manager uses. When we so often hear the pronoun THEY, and we listen carefully to whom the manager is referring. More times than not we hear the manager is referring to Corporate Management as THEY.
(SOLUTION) Understand this. There should be no THEY, there should only be a WE, however, if the manager uses THEY, it must be in reference to their team. If not they are destroying their team’s belief in the Senior Leadership or in some cases other departments.
5. Attempting to Manage Everyone the Same Way – The words that excite one person can incite another.
(SOLUTION) Management by necessity must be a one on one proposition. As parents, we know our children are different. So we take different approaches in dealing with them. The same is true of the people we lead, they are all different and different approaches are needed.
6. We Forget About the Importance of Profit – In every company, large or small, there are people making investments in the company and they deserve a return on that investment. A company can’t exist without profit, however, so often the manager forgets this.
(SOLUTION) Managers need to make certain they do not allow people to make sales that are not profitable or marginal at best. If the person is on an expense account the manager needs to review where the person is spending the money. Are they using the money to drive business with new prospects or on the customers who are already dedicated to our organization?
7. We Concentrate on Problems and not the Objective – So many managers tend to focus the majority of their time on problems and that kills their Creativity.
(SOLUTION) Creativity is the lifeblood of an organization. We need to be thinking creatively about, (1) How can we attain the objective (2) What actions can we take to attain the objective? When we ask ourselves better questions, we get better answers and find solutions.
8. We Become a Buddy not the Boss – We don’t like the word boss, however, it is the best descriptive word we can use. Sometimes we get too close to some of our people, actually going out to party with them. We hear a lot of excuses about the negative behavior manager’s display with their people while doing such things.
(SOLUTION) There is only one rule about this error that should apply. Never do anything with the people you manage that you would not do with your company’s best customer. If we do not show respect to our people, they will not respect us and that causes real problems!
9. We Fail to Set Standards – One of the problems is a misunderstanding of Objectives, Quotas, Standards and Goals.
(SOLUTION) Make sure everyone in the organization understands and knows what the standards are.
a) Objectives are what the persons say they will do.
b) Quotas are what the company wants done.
c) Minimum Standard is what it takes to retain the job.
d) Goals are why the people will do either.
We really don’t have goal setting programs in business, we have objective setting programs. Goals are personal and hardly ever revealed unless the manager has an unusually close relationship with the person. In a well-managed organization minimum standards are determined and announced and people are held accountable. In poorly managed organizations they are not announced and nature is allowed to take its course.
Announced or not, everyone knows what the minimum standard is. It is the lowest level of results a person is allowed to produce and remain with the company. If you have never had minimum standards and decide to implement them, they should never affect more than 10% of your people. Your company history should help in determining this.
10. We Fail to Train People – Why? Generally, because the manager was never trained.
(SOLUTION) We need to understand the difference between training and education. The purpose of education is to provide knowledge. The purpose of training is to get action. They are evaluated differently. Education is evaluated by what the person knows, you can give them a test and if they pass, they have the knowledge. Training is evaluated by what the person can and will do after the training session. Also training is treated as an event and it should be treated as a never ending process.
11. We Condone Incompetent Behavior – Usually by ignoring it until it becomes a major problem. When that happens, we end up attacking the person and not the behavior.
(SOLUTION) Confront incompetent behavior as soon as you see it. At that stage it is quick and easy to do. The steps are:
a) Tell a person specifically what they have done wrong.
b) Tell them how it makes you feel. (relate to their objectives)
c) Ask them how they feel about it? (draw them out)
d) Ask them how it can be solved? (lead them through questions to the answer)
e) Ask if you can count on them to correct the behavior?
f) Follow up and recognize them when behavior has been corrected.
12. We Recognize Only Top Performers – Your top performer is not paying the highest price to attain results. Generally, they are not working the hardest because the business comes naturally to them. The person who is paying the highest price is your newest person. They are working very hard to produce less, however, they deserve recognition for the effort they are putting into the job.
(SOLUTION) We all need recognition if the effort warrants it. When we recognize only the top performer, we drive a wedge between them and the rest of the team.
13. We Attempt to Motivate People – You may inspire but you cannot motivate. Motivation is internal and personal. The most common ways managers have tried to motivate others are through incentives and rewards or threat and fear. Both are counter productive. Your sales contests are a waste of time, as usually the same few people win and the others feel like losers. Threat or Fear destroys confidence in the manager and the company. So what can we do?
(SOLUTION) Lead effectively to build confidence by building the proper environment to allow the natural motivation to come out of the person. Managers need to inspire the people to believe in the company they represent, their products/services and in themselves.
From: http://www.accountability-plus.com/698/
Emotional Intelligence - Daniel Goleman
Daniel Goleman writes, “There are widespread exceptions to the rule that IQ predicts success ...at best, IQ contributes about 20 percent to the factors that determine life success, which leaves 80 percent to other forces.”
Goleman goes on to explain, “These other characteristics are called emotional intelligence: abilities such as being able to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations; to control impulse and delay gratification; to regulate one’s moods and keep distress from swamping the ability to think; to empathize and to hope.”
The Power of Intention - Wayne W. Dyer The principles he discusses in this book, the Dyer Dozen:
1...Want more for others than you want for yourself
2...Think from the end (begin to see yourself surrounded by whichever you asked and desired; act as if it is already there)
3...-Be an appreciator in your life (look for what is valuable)
4...Stay in rapport with the Source Energy (that is your job here on earth)
5...Understand about resistance (all that is other than you Emanate from....it's resistance)
6...Contemplate yourself as surrounded by he conditions you want to produce (One with the source)
7...Understand the Art of Allowance (allowing means taking the pace of least resistance)
8...-Practice radical humility (you are not the body/mind you are in, you are a Divine Source)
9...-Be in a constant state of gratitude (be generous and grateful to everything/everybody)
10...Keep in mind that you can never resolve a problem by condemning it
11...Play the match game (Am I matched up with the field of intention?)
12...Meditate
Who Moved My Cheese? - Dr.Spencer Johnson
Is a motivational book written in the style of a parable or business fable, which describes change in one's work and life, and gives us some adivice:
Change Happens They Keep Moving The Cheese
Anticipate Change Get Ready For The Cheese To Move
Monitor Change Smell The Cheese Often So You Know When It Is Getting Old
Adapt To Change Quickly The Quicker You Let Go Of Old Cheese, The Sooner You Can Enjoy New Cheese
Change Move With The Cheese
Enjoy Change! Savor The Adventure And Enjoy The Taste Of New Cheese!
Be Ready To Change Quickly And Enjoy It Again They Keep Moving The Cheese.
Out of the Crisis - W. Edwards Deming 14 Points for Management (the following is excerpted from Chapter 2): 1. Create constancy of purpose toward improvement of product and service, with the aim to become competitive and to stay in business, and to provide jobs. 2. Adopt the new philosophy. We are in a new economic age. Western management must awaken to the challenge, must learn their responsibilities, and take on leadership for change. 3. Cease dependence on inspection to achieve quality. Eliminate the need for inspection on a mass basis by building quality into the product in the first place. 4. End the practice of awarding business on the basis of price tag. Instead, minimize total cost. Move toward a single supplier for any one item, on a long-term relationship of loyalty and trust. 5. Improve constantly and forever the system of production and service, to improve quality and productivity, and thus constantly decrease costs. 6. Institute training on the job. 7. Institute leadership (see Point 12 and Ch. 8). The aim of supervision should be to help people and machines and gadgets to do a better job. Supervision of management is in need of overhaul, as well as supervision of production workers. 8. Drive out fear, so that everyone may work effectively for the company (see Ch. 3). 9. Break down barriers between departments. People in research, design, sales, and production must work as a team, to foresee problems of production and in use that may be encountered with the product or service. 10. Eliminate slogans, exhortations, and targets for the work force asking for zero defects and new levels of productivity. Such exhortations only create adversarial relationships, as the bulk of the causes of low quality and low productivity belong to the system and thus lie beyond the power of the work force.
11. Remove barriers that rob the hourly worker of his right to pride of workmanship. The responsibility of supervisors must be changed from sheer numbers to quality. 12. Remove barriers that rob people in management and in engineering of their right to pride of workmanship. This means, inter alia, abolishment of the annual or merit rating and of management by objective (see Ch. 3). 13. Institute a vigorous program of education and self-improvement. 14. Put everybody in the company to work to accomplish the transformation. The transformation is everybody's job.
What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)? By MICHAEL AKERS & GROVER PORTER
For most people, emotional intelligence (EQ) is more important than one’s intelligence (IQ) in attaining success in their lives and careers. As individuals our success and the success of the profession today depend on our ability to read other people’s signals and react appropriately to them.
Therefore, each one of us must develop the mature emotional intelligence skills required to better understand, empathize and negotiate with other people — particularly as the economy has become more global. Otherwise, success will elude us in our lives and careers.
“Your EQ is the level of your ability to understand other people, what motivates them and how to work cooperatively with them,” says Howard Gardner, the influential Harvard theorist. Five major categories of emotional intelligence skills are recognized by researchers in this area.
Understanding the Five Categories of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
1. Self-awareness. The ability to recognize an emotion as it “happens” is the key to your EQ. Developing self-awareness requires tuning in to your true feelings. If you evaluate your emotions, you can manage them. The major elements of self-awareness are:
Emotional awareness. Your ability to recognize your own emotions and their effects. Self-confidence. Sureness about your self-worth and capabilities.
2. Self-regulation. You often have little control over when you experience emotions. You can, however, have some say in how long an emotion will last by using a number of techniques to alleviate negative emotions such as anger, anxiety or depression. A few of these techniques include recasting a situation in a more positive light, taking a long walk and meditation or prayer. Self-regulation involves
Self-control. Managing disruptive impulses. Trustworthiness. Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity. Conscientiousness. Taking responsibility for your own performance. Adaptability. Handling change with flexibility. Innovation. Being open to new ideas.
3. Motivation. To motivate yourself for any achievement requires clear goals and a positive attitude. Although you may have a predisposition to either a positive or a negative attitude, you can with effort and practice learn to think more positively. If you catch negative thoughts as they occur, you can reframe them in more positive terms — which will help you achieve your goals. Motivation is made up of:
Achievement drive. Your constant striving to improve or to meet a standard of excellence. Commitment. Aligning with the goals of the group or organization. Initiative. Readying yourself to act on opportunities. Optimism. Pursuing goals persistently despite obstacles and setbacks.
4. Empathy. The ability to recognize how people feel is important to success in your life and career. The more skillful you are at discerning the feelings behind others’ signals the better you can control the signals you send them. An empathetic person excels at:
Service orientation. Anticipating, recognizing and meeting clients’ needs. Developing others. Sensing what others need to progress and bolstering their abilities. Leveraging diversity. Cultivating opportunities through diverse people. Political awareness. Reading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships. Understanding others. Discerning the feelings behind the needs and wants of others.
5. Social skills. The development of good interpersonal skills is tantamount to success in your life and career. In today’s always-connected world, everyone has immediate access to technical knowledge. Thus, “people skills” are even more important now because you must possess a high EQ to better understand, empathize and negotiate with others in a global economy. Among the most useful skills are:
Influence. Wielding effective persuasion tactics. Communication. Sending clear messages. Leadership. Inspiring and guiding groups and people. Change catalyst. Initiating or managing change. Conflict management. Understanding, negotiating and resolving disagreements. Building bonds. Nurturing instrumental relationships. Collaboration and cooperation. Working with others toward shared goals. Team capabilities. Creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals. What factors are at play when people of high IQ fail and those of modest IQ succeed?
How well you do in your life and career is determined by both. IQ alone is not enough; EQ also matters. In fact, psychologists generally agree that among the ingredients for success, IQ counts for roughly 10% (at best 25%); the rest depends on everything else — including EQ.
A study of Harvard graduates in business, law, medicine and teaching showed a negative or zero correlation between an IQ indicator (entrance exam scores) and subsequent career success. Three examples illustrate the importance of emotional competencies.
APA Reference Michael Akers & Grover Porter. (2007). What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 29, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-emotional-intelligence-eq/0001037 Some web-sites offer to their customers Viagra. Did you ever heard about alcohol and cialis? Probably you already heard something about it. The signs of sexual diseases in men include impossibility to have any erection. Whereas sex is not vital for good heartiness, it’s certainly good for you because of cialis with alcohol. Sometimes another disease will lead to erectile dysfunction. While the generic is credited with nerve pain, it can also kill the mood in bedroom. If you have difficulty getting an hard-on, it's considerable to see a qualified doctor before ordering any sort of treatment. |